The vast majority of my dates pre-coronavirus involved partaking in activities. Bonus points, if we did something new or for the first time. This was to ensure I would get something out of the date, even if the person couldn’t hold a conversation or wasn’t interesting, fun, or entertaining. I implemented this general rule after suffering through too many coffee, lunch, and dinner dates where the conversation was typical, repetitive, and boring. Dates that turn into job interviews, one-way conversations, or debate team meetings are exhausting.
If you have any experience with online dating, you know this to be true. First, you hope the person shows up and actually looks like his or her picture(s). Then, you hope that person can hold a conversation. Two factors required for that special thing called: chemistry. Although, the latter can generate chemistry on its own.
I can’t do much about your integrity when it comes to which profile picture(s) you select and what happens because of it. However, I can ensure you are an engaging and entertaining conversationalist by teaching how to become a (first time) storyteller.
What Happens on a Perfect First Date?
Don’t overthink this question. A few key things happen on a perfect first date.
- You have fun.
- You share some laughter.
- You feel comfortable with the other person.
- You feel like you could be yourself with the other person.
- You feel you had things in common with the other person.
- You feel a connection with the other person.
A compelling storyteller can achieve all those as they communicate and express who they are. Which is why to have a successful first date and be well on your way to getting a second date, you need to become a (first time) storyteller.
Six Reasons (First Time) Storytelling is the Key to Your Dating Success
Here’s a quick recap in case you forgot what dating is about since, unfortunately, it has lost its meaning over these past few years. The purpose of dating is for two people to get to know each other.
It’s not about killing time because you’re lonely. It’s not about how quickly you can get laid. It’s not about a free meal. It’s not about trying to improve your self-esteem through the validation of others. It’s about getting to know another human being to build rapport, a connection, assess future compatibility, and make decisions on your continued interactions with that person.
Dating requires being able to allow people to get to know you and possessing the ability to express who you are and what you’re about.
Now, let’s discuss how becoming a (first time) storyteller is key to your dating success.
Express and Communicate Who You Are in the Most Effective Way with First Time Storytelling
We are taught how to speak but we are not taught how to express and communicate who we are. So we often default to the Q&A method to get to know someone because we don’t know any other way. However, no one wants their date to feel like a job interview and be bombarded with 20 questions.
Instead, you need a clear, concise, and engaging way to communicate and express who you are. A method of providing information, facts, and details about yourself that also involve sharing your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. A process that triggers and inspires the person listening to you to do the same, which leads to engaging and meaningful conversations.
When you become a (first time) storyteller you learn to create an entire repertoire of outlined stories that cover a plethora of topics and subjects. You are the sum of your experiences and everything in your life started with a first time — from the events that shaped and impacted who you are, to the places you’ve lived and visited, adventures you’ve experienced, lessons you’ve learned, and so much more!
As a first time storyteller, you acquire the ability to select which stories you want to tell based on what information you want to share, what mood you want to set, emotions and feelings you want to induce, and what goals you inspire to meet.
Our brains are wired for stories and narratives. We enjoy them more than any other means of communication. Stories engage and hold attention. Additionally, stories are the most powerful way of learning, and by default, teaching others. Therefore, when you’re out on a date and looking to communicate with someone who you are, there is no better way to do that than with (first time) storytelling.
Start and Maintain Content Rich Conversations with First Time Storytelling
Ever found yourself on a date where the conversation flowed and time raced by? How amazing was that? Being on a date with someone who can start and maintain content-rich and relevant conversations is like hitting the dating jackpot.
It’s much better to wonder about “where did the time go?” than be excruciatingly bored and wishing the earth would open up and swallow you whole.
What’s more, there is zero value on the initial few dates in having conversations about external topics that have nothing to do with the discovery and getting to know each other process. With (first time) storytelling you ensure you are having conversations that drive the point of dating forward and clearly communicate who you are, what you want for your life, and what you are looking for in a partner and relationship.
Make a Deeper Connection with First Time Storytelling
Facts and information don’t trigger feelings or generate emotions. On the hand, stories elicit emotions and emotions solidify connections. When someone makes you feel something, don’t you feel more connected to them? As previously mentioned, as a (first time) storyteller you will have a repertoire of stories to choose from and an understanding of the emotions they evoke.
Imagine being on a date and sharing a story that induces empathy for you. Followed by a story that gives rise to understanding and inspiration. Next, you spark some thrill and excitement, and finish the evening by calling forth hope and awe. How do you think your date will feel about you after being on that train of profound emotions with you?
With first time storytelling, you are not only expressing who you are but taking the other person into the experience of being you. In the process, you create a deeper connection and they know and understand you much better. First Time Storytelling is the key to your dating success for the win!
Be Memorable and Leave a Lasting Impression with First Time Storytelling
According to research, you are 22 times more likely to remember a story than facts alone, so if you want your date to remember you, storytelling is the way to go.
You want your date to go home and replay the date as he or she falls asleep. You want your date remembering the stories you told, what they learned about you, and how you made them feel. Inspire to be memorable and the kind of person who leaves a lasting impression. Whether or not you get a second date or relationship with your date, you don’t want to be easily forgotten.
What do the people you still remember today have in common? Have you ever met someone just one time but they still pop in your head? Especially in relation to something they shared about themselves…like in a story?
With (first time) storytelling you can be a person who imprints who they are on the people you meet and have your stories shared through other people. First Time Storytelling is the key to your dating success for the win!
Stand Out by Opening up and Being Vulnerable with First Time Storytelling
You’d think people actively dating would understand that to find love you have to be willing to open up and be vulnerable. However, many people date with baggage to include past pains, rejections, heartbreaks, disappointments, betrayals…you name it.
As you learn how to become a (first time) storyteller, you raise your self-awareness and go through the process of really understanding and expressing the events of your life and how they made you feel. In other words, you make peace with your life. Indeed, you come to appreciate how everything that has happened has led to who you are today.
Additionally, we address how to open up and allow yourself to be vulnerable in the course.
The reason someone will feel comfortable and like they can be themselves with you is because you are genuinely being yourself with them. This will only happen when you are willing to be open and vulnerable.
Thankfully, even if this is hard for you, (first time) storytelling makes it easier to do because you weave your thoughts, feelings, and emotions into your stories. It becomes part of how you communicate and express who you are. First Time Storytelling is the key to your dating success for the win!
Be Curious and An Active Listener
Up till now, all previous points have been related to you doing the talking. Which ideally, sets the example and encourages your date to share similar stories about themselves. When this happens, it becomes your turn to listen. You can further enrich your date’s experience with you through being an active listener when they speak.
A key component to active listening is being genuinely curious about what the other person is sharing and providing them your undivided attention. You should be able to recap what they said, to confirm you heard them. As well as, have a few powerful follow-up questions to validate you understood them and are interested in knowing more.
Becoming an active listener, is also part of the how to become a (first time) storyteller course.
Ready to Get Started?
There is no better time than right now to learn how to become a (first time) storyteller. When you buy a ticket to the First Time Storytelling Virtual Summit you get immediate access to the ebook and the course.